Thursday, October 28, 2010

When I Cried...

I am not a big crier, but I have been known to shed a few tears especially when I am feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost. However, in the days leading up to our missionary's departure, I found myself tearing up over the smallest things.

I shed tears at Men's Warehouse when the sales clerk kept calling our son "Elder" and when our son came out of the dressing room wearing his suit and white shirt. The man who stood before me was not a child, but my spiritual equal prepared to do the will of his Heavenly Father. The poignant realization that his childhood was over was as painful as the realization that I was finished raising him felt right.

I cried during instruction in the Jordan River LDS Temple when the matrons kept referring to me as "the missionary's mom." Having never been a missionary's mom before, the title was startling and deeply satisfying. I must say that for me being "the missionary's mom" is right up there with being an "elect lady". I realized that this was the moment we had been moving towards from the time he was born and that we had reached this place with the help of a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I sobbed when we realized while packing that we had purchased 8 long sleeve shirts and 2 short sleeve shirts instead of 2 long sleeve and 8 short sleeve. The stress of the week's preparation activities finally caught up with me when I realized our mistake. By the time I had cried myself out, I was emotionally exhausted. So    when we dropped our missionary off at the MTC later that day, after making an emergency stop for additional shirts, I was ready for him to be gone. There were no tears left to be shed. Not the most touching moment, to be sure, but I learned a lesson. I wish I'd known that the week prior to his departure was going to be so stressful, wish I'd known all the things about sending a missionary off  that I've learned since, and I wish that I'd known what a cathartic moment it is to watch your missionary walk off, head held high, anxious to be engaged in the Lord's work. If I'd known how happy that would make me, I might have shed a few more tears.

Report from the Mission Field

After two months in the mission field, Elder Zaitzeff reports that:

The most surprising and hardest thing about being a missionary is "working with the ward members, we are looking for support that we are not getting a lot of."

The easiest thing is "I do not think anything is easy" about being a missionary.

The best thing is "talking to people, teaching and feeling the spirit."

On companionships:  "Having a companion is not like having a roommate or a brother - I have to be with them all the time that  gives a companionship a very different feel."

More reports to come as they develop.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Backpack or Shoulder Bags: Which is best for an LDS Missionary

Basically the choice between a backpack and a shoulder bag will be determined by the mission president of your missionary's mission. Our missionary was informed in his booklet of general instructions that shoulder bags were considered more professional and strongly encouraged in his mission in SoCal.

Shoulder bags were extremely hard to find. We finally had success at the Missionary Mall in Provo, but they are not cheap. They run about $80, but with added bells and whistles, can run over $100. Later our missionary also found them at the MTC bookstore.

Backpacks are, of course, easier to find, but they need to be black or dark blue with no visible logos or insignias. Finding those, I think, would be harder.

Known as tracting bags, these bags are designed to carry the essentials for daily missionary work like missionary planners, pamphlets, pass-along cards, cameras, keys, etc. Some have room for rain gear and water bottles.

A tracting bag would make a nice birthday gift for a 19 year-old future missionary.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Avoiding the Power Suit

In my blog The What To Wear List for an LDS Missionary, I listed the church's preferred suit colors for missionaries. They are black, dark blue, dark green, dark gray and dark brown. (Notice the dark and conservative theme.)

I recommend that you avoid buying a black suit, even though they may be considered the standard uniform for missionaries. Here's why: according to research in the field of color psychology, black is a power color.

"Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless...Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula [and Darth Vader], often wear black."

Black is not a welcoming, approachable color. It is a dominating presence in a room. For example, when our missionary was set apart, his stake presidency met with us during the middle of the day. One of the counselors had come from his office where he is a top executive. He was wearing a black suit, and as we proceeded with the setting apart, he was physically dominating the meeting. I can still remember how severe he looked, though he was a very pleasant person.

Now you might say that a dominant presence or a sense of authority would be a good thing, but I think that one of the hardest obstacles to overcome on a mission is just getting people to talk to you, the whole first impression. A missionary in a black suit is a lot more threatening, than say a missionary in a dark blue suit because blue is a more easy, approachable color.

"The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms...Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms."

A lot of the general authorities wear blue at General Conference.

Green is a calm, refreshing color, and brown is manly, earthy and reliable. Since there are other, better alternatives, I recommend avoiding black, if possible. It probably won't have much bearing on your missionary's success while on their mission, but why not give them an added advantage, even if it is only psychological.

I love dark gray as an alternate to black myself, and our missionary looked so grown up in his dark blue and dark gray suits. I cried when he came out of the dressing room.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Number One Reason to Go On A Mission

In 3 Nephi 27:13, Jesus Christ describes the purpose of his life's mission to the Nephites in these words:

"Behold I have given unto you my gospel, and this is the gospel which I have given unto you—that I came into the world to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me." (The Book of Mormon)

His purpose is to do the "will of the Father," and as we draw closer to Christ as our Savior, the purpose of our lives should also be to do the will of the Father.

In her blog, Finding the Only Reason that Will Sustain Us, author Becky Thomas remembers the advice she received from her father about the best and only reason to go on a mission when he said, "You need to go for one reason only, to serve your Heavenly Father."

There are a lot of hardships and challenges in serving an LDS mission from deciding to go in the first place to finding joy in the call to living in unfamiliar, and sometimes harsh, circumstances to finding success in sharing the message.

Very few reasons besides doing the will of the Father will sustain a missionary through those kinds of trials, but imagine the power in the missionary who when asked why they sacrifice and serve answers back, "I came to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me."

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The All Important LDS Missionary Plaque

Different units have different traditions regarding missionary plaques. Some wards and branches pay for and provide the plaque; some do not, leaving it to the family.

After some searching and a few recommendations, we settled on GoLDS plaques. GoLDSPlaques.com is an LDS family-owned and operated business that specializes in LDS missionary plaques and other products common in the “Mormon” community. They have a significant web presence, can answer any of your questions and take your orders online

They offer a wide range of options to commemorate your missionary's service. We just picked the standard finish with brass because that is traditional for our ward.

The tricky part has been getting a picture of our missionary to the ward clerk and getting it mounted.  Wish I had professional pictures taken of our missionary before he entered the MTC. Nothing fancy, just something with his suit on...

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Birthday Box for an LDS Missionary

Our missionary turned 20 today!

Because our missionary is stateside, we were able to send him gifts through the US Postal Service. Since he has not been out very long, his wish list was relatively short. He had only asked for church music on CD and new ties. (It seems that you can not have enough ties, especially if you have to wear one every day.)

At Deseret Book.com, we were able to find a variety of appropriate music including Come Thou Font of Every Blessing by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and The Best of Jenny Baker. We also found two tie options that we liked: a Nephi necktie with pin and one with an Ammon  necktie with pin. With shipping, the cost for one CD and the both ties was about $50.

And because we could not help ourselves, we also sent him a box with a cake mix, frosting, an aluminum pan, balloons, candles and a card with family pictures tucked in the envelope. Call it a party in a box.

In his weekly email, he told us that his mission president had called him this morning and sung "Happy Birthday" to him over the phone. Can I just say that his president rocks! (Wish I could have done that...)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

White Shirts in Every Size

One Sunday, I was in sacrament meeting, and sitting in front of us, I noticed a family with four sons of various ages all wearing white shirts and ties. Knowing the mother, I thought to myself, "She must have white shirts in every size." Then I looked down my own bench and realized that with five sons of our own, we had white shirts in every size hanging in our closets too.

White shirts and ties are the standard Mormon uniform for men serving in the priesthood, and we start training them young, even as early as nursery and junior primary. Every Sunday, you can see little future Mormon missionaries, dressed just like miniature versions of their fathers, toddle off down the hallways to class holding fast to their daddy's big hands.

Regardless of where they serve, elders serving in the mission field will spend the majority of their time wearing white shirts and ties.

We found our missionary liked the Joseph & Feiss brand dress shirt; it was 100% cotton, but it was also non-iron, that being the clincher.

Also consider a dress shirt that is a 70-30 poly-cotton blend; it will not wrinkle like a standard 100% cotton shirt, but the shirt can still breathe. Pointed collars are more professional and appropriate with a suit, but button-down collars, while more casual, are still acceptable and common among missionaries and members alike.

If you can, look for dress shirts with unbreakable buttons and extra buttons sown on the inside of the placket. Extra buttons are a most. So if the shirt does not come with any, add white thread and shirt buttons in two sizes (one size for the shirt front and cuffs; smaller ones for the collars, if necessary) to their sewing kit.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Secret to Socks

Here's an insider tip:

Don't buy socks with a pattern. If the mate is lost, the other sock is obsolete. Buy all the same color dress socks and match the color of the suit. Then regardless of how many socks get lost or swallowed by the dryer, there will always be a match. Also if, heaven forbid, your missionary grows taller on their mission, they can still get some mileage out of their suits without the high water look.

Wool blends work well in cold or wet missions. (In extrememly cold missions, try football socks. They are so warm.) Avoid all polyester socks because even though they will last forever, your missionary's feet will not be able to breathe, and fungus might result.

Our missionary loves his socks produced from bamboo, a natural fiber alternative to cotton, wool, hemp and synthetic fibers like polyester and nylon. They are super soft, moisture wicking, and do not retain odor. We purchased them at Mens Warehouse in Utah, but you can find them on the web and at department stores. They make great birthday day and Christmas presents for LDS missionaries in the field. Try to find them on sale or as part of a "Missionary Special," if you feel that they are pricey.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Things to do Immediately

If your missionary has sent in their papers and they are waiting for their call, here are a few things they can do immediately to get ahead of the game:
  1. Resolve all medical issues that may effect their ability to serve. Complete all tests and treatments including dental work and eye exams.
  2. Obtain all required vaccinations and inoculations. If they are planning to enter the MTC in the fall or winter, get a flu shot prior to entering.
  3. If possible, continue private health insurance and carry contact information.
  4. If they are active or inactive Reserve or National Guard, they must obtain official clearance from their unit prior to entering the MTC or else they will be AWOL. (And that would be bad.)
  5. If they are attending college, they must officially defer by contacting their admissions office and following procedure. If they have scholarships, there may be a deferment procedure as well.
  6. They must settle all their personal debts.
  7. Their hair should be cut according to missionary standards.
  8. Their name should be marked in all their belongings including clothing and luggage.
  9. They should obtain a patriarchal blessing if possible.
  10. They should obtain a temple endowment if possible. 
Depending on when they enter the MTC, they may have a lot or a little bit of time to complete all these after they get their call. Starting now will lessen the chances that they run into any complications.

Try getting all the clothes, the endowment, the setting apart, the haircut and finish a college term and move out of their apartment all in a week, that was crazy nuts. Do not try this at home...give everyone a chance to breathe and encourage them to space everything out as efficiently as possible.