When I Cried...

I am not a big crier, but I have been known to shed a few tears especially when I am feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost. However, in the days leading up to our missionary's departure, I found myself tearing up over the smallest things.

I shed tears at Men's Warehouse when the sales clerk kept calling our son "Elder" and when our son came out of the dressing room wearing his suit and white shirt. The man who stood before me was not a child, but my spiritual equal prepared to do the will of his Heavenly Father. The poignant realization that his childhood was over was as painful as the realization that I was finished raising him felt right.

I cried during instruction in the Jordan River LDS Temple when the matrons kept referring to me as "the missionary's mom." Having never been a missionary's mom before, the title was startling and deeply satisfying. I must say that for me being "the missionary's mom" is right up there with being an "elect lady". I realized that this was the moment we had been moving towards from the time he was born and that we had reached this place with the help of a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I sobbed when we realized while packing that we had purchased 8 long sleeve shirts and 2 short sleeve shirts instead of 2 long sleeve and 8 short sleeve. The stress of the week's preparation activities finally caught up with me when I realized our mistake. By the time I had cried myself out, I was emotionally exhausted. So    when we dropped our missionary off at the MTC later that day, after making an emergency stop for additional shirts, I was ready for him to be gone. There were no tears left to be shed. Not the most touching moment, to be sure, but I learned a lesson. I wish I'd known that the week prior to his departure was going to be so stressful, wish I'd known all the things about sending a missionary off  that I've learned since, and I wish that I'd known what a cathartic moment it is to watch your missionary walk off, head held high, anxious to be engaged in the Lord's work. If I'd known how happy that would make me, I might have shed a few more tears.